Today is my mother's 56th birthday. Over the past years, there have been times when some of the family hasn't been around to celebrate it, but this is the first year that she isn't around for it either. Knowing that we'll never get the opportunity to celebrate it with her again weighs heavily on each member of the family.
Birthdays are funny things. When you're young, you eagerly anticipate becoming a year older. But as you get older and older, birthday's become more of a realization of your gradual approach to the end of your life. My mom didn't care. From year to year, nothing changed for her. Every year was dedicated to raising her children, loving and supporting her husband, glorifying God, and eagerly waiting for her true home. My mother wasn't concerned about age or beauty. Her eyes never strayed from those eternal rewards.
She's been gone for awhile now. In many ways, it's still very surreal. I swear sometimes I can hear her from my room, working in the kitchen, counseling my brothers, teaching James math, or helping Sarah pick out an outfit. Sometimes I can visit her in my dreams, and sometimes I make her live through my memories of places; sitting on the couch giving her a shoulder rub, looking through photo albums together, or taking walks with her after her varicose-vein surgery.
Sadly, at the end of the day we're all faced with the reality that it will never be quite the same here on this earth. She was God's gift to us. She was the reason to our madness, the caution to our adventure, the comfort to our pain, the order to our chaos, and the string to our kite. She supported everything, strengthened everything, held everything together, and without her, our family would not be who we are today. Life is different, life is hard, but God is so good.
I thank God every day for the hope that I have in Christ. Because of that sacrifice, I haven't lost my mother forever. She's simply waiting for me. In the meantime, I'm constantly reminded of her memory, especially on days like this, her 56th birthday.
My mom isn't celebrating her 56th birthday though. You know why? Human birth doesn't matter anymore. Neither does age. Guess what does? Re-birth through the blood of Christ, and eternal life. Happy 105th day in heaven, Mamma. We miss you.
13 comments:
Thank you, Isaac. I've been thinking about your family today. It's so cool that your mom is living her 105th day in heaven today. Isn't it awesome that we can't count high enough to record the days we'll spend with Jesus in heaven? I'm stoked for that! Thanks for the beautiful, bittersweet reminder that Jesus is worth giving everything for.
That was so beautiful, Isaac. Thank you for sharing. I still cry every time I think of her. I pray for you all that you will have strength and peace. :)
I am praying for ya'll today, I know it is hard, but God is good!
love you Isaac.
Isaac, this is beautiful. My heart is crying with you and rejoicing with her today. Even though I would only see her once or twice a year, I still count her as one of the women who have had the most influence on my life and future dreams -- because of some of the exact things you wrote about. Thanks for sharing your heart. Praying for you wholeheartedly, little bro.
You made me cry, Isaac. My family and I are praying for you all each and every day!
Sarah =D
Praying for you, Isaac.
Beautifully written, Isaac. Thank you for sharing. I'm praying for you and your family!
I never had the opportunity to meet, but her spirit lives on in her family. My prayers are with you all on this difficult day, but my thoughts are with her as I envy the joy she has in the King's presence. God bless you all
Isaac, I have been praying for you and your family for the last two weeks, knowing that her birthday would be upon you. I have been remembering your mom too, and as we were worshiping in church today; I could almost see her dancing before the throne; only there were no concerns on her face; no sadness in her eyes, she had a healthy/whole body full of life and the truest joy on her face. I rejoice for her, and pray and miss her with you and so many others. Your mom is a gem and we were privileged to have her share her heart and her love with us. She always pointed our gaze to His face.
Excellently said, Isaac. I know she would be blessed.
Blessings from Ohio...Kim<><
Beautifully stated Isaac. Your mom was, in my humble opinion, the epitome of the godly wife, mother, and woman. I still rely on her words of wisdom in my everyday life. Thank you for sharing her with us. God Bless.
Beautiful post. Brought tears to my eyes.
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